If you want to be happy, just be.

12 10 2011

Ten things you probably don’t need to know about my life.
Oh, and welcome back to wordpress december1219.

1.) I’m never getting married.

Okay, so that may be a bold faced lie.  But at least when I say it, your first impression is correct:  I don’t get caught up in the fairytale.  I refuse to be that twenty something girl, sobbing uncontrollably over every failed first date, bawling into my pillow about how if I’m not married in five years I’m just going to give up or worse, marry the next man willing & MAKE myself  “happy.”  Um, no.  That’s not how life works.  Flings are meant to not only happen, but to be just that:  flings.  That person only had a little to teach you, and needed little time to do it.  So you let it go and maybe something better comes along.  Maybe it doesn’t.  Regardless of the situation, we are where we’re meant to be.  If I’m still single in ten years, I can take comfort in knowing that that is exactly what’s supposed to happen.  That I haven’t let myself settle, or fallen into the trap of being with someone just to not be alone.  There’s no such thing as “the one that got away,” only the lessons learned in your mourning.  And if I wake up in the morning to a ring from my Prince Charming, then I guess that day will come sooner than expected.  Regardless, the first impression of that statement is the one I want to last:  I’m not sitting around, popping M&Ms like vicodin, watching Disney movies all dreamy eyed with a vice grip on ridiculous relationship expectations.  I’m simply watching those movies for my love of all things Disney.

2.) My summer was RIDICULOUS.

Like ridiculous ridiculous.  Like amazing ridiculous.  But isn’t your 21st summer supposed to be?

3.) You can never own too many sweatshirts.

A few months ago, I moved into what I thought was going to be a super temporary situation.  I was going to be moved out again by October 1st at the latest, and even THAT seemed so far away.  So when I packed up and shipped out, all but three of my thirty something sweatshirts were moved into my new home.  And yet here we are, first week of October, moving day nowhere in sight, and I’m buying new sweatshirts so as to not be freezing my bum off. So the next time you look at the inordinate amount of sweat-anything in your closet and think “This is too much…”  No, no it is not.  You bite your tongue and for the love of God do NOT give any of them away.

4.)  You can also never own too many pairs of heels.

The last time I dated a guy, we were together for about two and a half years.  There wasn’t much of a height difference between us, but suffice it to say I had upwards of an inch and a half on the man.  Now it obviously wasn’t an issue if I spent that much time with him, but… the number of heels I’ve bought in the last five years?  One.  A pair for prom.  I’ve owned a lot of ballet flats, mocs, flips & chucks, but I wasn’t exactly into the idea of towering over my not-so-lofty partner.

Aaaaand then we broke up.  And I started going on dates.  And going out for girl’s nights.   And do you know what I’ve noticed?  I make tall friends, and not one of those dates had less than 4″ on me.  Now I’m not doing this on purpose, I swear… I’m not heightist!  It’s just the guys who were cool enough to “hang with.”  And after a few of those dates, I started noticing that though I’m not a particularily small person, I felt miniscule.  Not always a bad thing, but from time to time I do get tired of craning for kisses & conversations.  So I invested in pumps.  And wedges.  And boots.  And I’ve never looked up… *ahem* back.

5.) I’m homeless.

Yup yup.  It’s a long story.  I don’t really want to tell it.  Let’s just say… I need to pick better roomies.

6.) I’M STILL SINGLE.

Yay me!  But seriously.  Still single.  Still exploring.  Still holding onto my high standards.  Still loving life.  And still not accepting anything less than I deserve.

7.) I have red hair.

Kind of.  When I went dark for the colder weather, I added some red.  I’m not quite a ginger, but I still love it.

8.) I’m dating… everyone.*

As per number four, and number six, I’m single and having fun with it.  Gone on dates.  Had flings.  Did pseudo break ups.  Done the awkward weeks later run in & avoidance.  I relished in it all… all summer.  But the buzz is winding down, and I’m settling back into.. well, being a normal person.  * And I met someone?  Kind of.  Kind of met, not kind of someone.  I don’t know.  It’s exciting.  And also kind of drives me crazy.  Not exactly sure how I feel about this, or about saying it “out loud,” but… I think I like a boy.

9.) I am not my own soap opera.

A reality TV show, maybe.  But not a soap opera.  I mentioned in a post a few months that “I am my own soap opera,” and I obviously felt that way at the time.  But when we’ve initiated a messy break up, don’t we all kind of feel that way?  I’d rather think of myself as the right balance of ‘cool enough to hang out with’ and ‘super really weird & dorky, actually makes me feel normal‘.  Like someone you might actually enjoy talking to.  The kind of girl to have her own sitcom?  Yeah, and come this spring we could call it “Work, School & No Sleep: Living Every 22 year old’s Dream.”

10.) I’m still throwing Seven Different Kinds of Smoke.

And if you don’t know what movie that’s from, you should probably crawl out from under that rock and order HBO.  Seriously though, I’m still rockin’ my Decemberness, just doin’ me.  I lost sight of everything for a little while… but that moment was fleeting.  Now it’s back to Buzz.

Never give up, never surrender.

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